Why are ‘Dreams’ so out of Reach?

I am constantly caught in a bickering state within my own mind. I always intertwine the clarity with confusion. Once I start seeing the light, a correct path, I begin to second guess myself. What If I am not good at that? What if I don’t generate money with that choice? What if I get bored with it? What if I made the wrong turn?… A constant battle from which I never learn how to defeat. I constantly go over my passions one by one. What do I enjoy? I enjoy Art, and Design, my original major. Yet I have always been a writer, from a very young age, I have accumulated thoughts that, engraved in paper expressed the realms of my soul, that I often hid. I created a book from my high school love grief collection. Its titled “Revelations of a Severed Heart” it’s being sold on Amazon, as I self published it. I enjoy photography. Writing and reading novels. I enjoy films, from watching them, to analyzing their meaning, and exploring the realm of creating and expressing oneself through film. I became enamored of the whole idea. Coming into this epiphany, I realized, I truly enjoy any art form that explores the notion of expression.

Now that I have narrowed it down to expression. Now the tough part emerges. How to go about deciding which art form to pursue?…I figured I will delve in film, directing and writing , as it utilizing both writing form and photography. I will explore all  art form without striving to generate income. As I will loose myself with that notion. I am currently working on a screenplay. Searching and finding for the appropriate resources can be tough. Permits are needed, location, setting plot and actors are imperative for the production. Being a now, film major, can be tough as I need to know so much than I know now to create a meaningful film in which my soul is expressed and from which the audience can enjoy as well.

Keeping my head up during hard times, and keeping my eye on the prize is key. There is so much I want to do. Very little time. Even with the minimal time at hand, my brain won’t process this notion enough to keep the voices at bay, that continuously second guess my every move.

Surroundings are very important as well. A lot of people listen to others dreams and goals and if they do not hear Psychologist, Doctor, Engineer, Architect in your ultimate career goal, they frown and pity sets in. As if they know how tough it is to make a living a  a writer/ film maker.

But there is a community out there, that does share passions. It’s important to make connections with souls that have the same believes and goals as you because it keeps you strong, where as others can further your second guessing mindset and engrave it deep beneath your soul. I am working on making connections. I currently have three connections in which we can discuss film, logic, dreams, and hope that our dreams will be achieved with our hard work. 2018 is the year where all hard work is being scrutinized. This year we work the hardest, make write produce, and achieve. Keeping my dreams alive. For even if no one believes in myself. I do. I believe…

 

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